We've all been lonely at some point in our lives. We've all been the one sitting at that bar alone among strangers or acquaintances, that one dancing alone on the dance floor, at the end table facing the wall of the restaurant, in the traffic jammed car waiting for that car full of children to move along.
We've been envious of those happy people, walking down the street hand in hand, sharing an ice-cream with their kids, going to school concerts to support friends, showing up at their friends' for a drink, able to say hello to people every 10mins down the street.
And we've all tried, god knows how hard, to get out of this loneliness, be the brave one reaching out to others, faking to be happy with people you've just met, make as if everything is alright in our lives. Make believe...
The thing is, at some point, after so many falls, hits, blows, drains down the shit hole of the loner week-end night, some of us, or some of "them" as some of them consider in utter disdain or painful pity, have just have enough of the series of deceptions, false hopes, nos and rejections, and just want to feel good about their lives. And they just decide to stop relying on others to be happy.
And they do! Guess that's when the lonely ends up alone, in a safe empty cocoon where he knows he can be alright. Rarely happy, event less surrounded by people. But devoid of about any deception or blows... Just alright... The problem is, after pushing away so many legitimately false relationships, friendships and loveships, we don't know when to stop, when "the one" knocks at the door, and just keep on pretending to be a funny joking prick just to push them away so they don't get too close, into the vulnerability zone...
This is the moment... When I became alone... When you did... When we all did... And after a few failed painful attempts to come back, it gets very awkward to believe in the purpose of it all, to give somebody a chance into your cocoon, even if they are OK with it all...
And after all those failed relationships, those failed attempts, those catastrophes, all turn their back on you, disappear from your lives so there is nothing left to remember how it was like to feel happy, you really become alone and abhor any attempt at a real relationship... That day is the first day of the rest of no life...
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I will live my life! FREE!
